Things that happen To me.

Annnnnd again.

2010-09-20T17:50:00.000-07:00

Hey!

I have a blog! Somehow, Blogger hasn't deleted it!

Okay, well...I guess I'll try and give this another shot. So, what first? Well...Lots has happened since I abandoned the blog. Here's the cliff notes :

1) I work at Microsoft still. Now I'm on the Twitter support team (@XboxSupport)

2) Moneta is still rocking faces and breaking hearts.

3) I Live in Bellevue

I'm sure there is a TON more that I could say but...I'm lazy. Sorry! So, I'll just pick up where I left off and try and post daily (or at least a few times a week).

Word.

Later

Farm Livin' is the life for me...

2007-08-20T09:40:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, I am so sore today! I feel like someone snuck into my room in the middle of the night and kicked my ass...softly though, so I didn't wake up.

Yesterday we played FreedomFest out in Snohomish and, despite the feild being a muddly mess due to the morning rain that almost cancelled the festival, it was a really great time. There is just something magical about being surrounded acres and acres of corn.

In regard to the corn...it was amazing. I seriously ate like 4 cobs in a row.

Anyway, I'm at work today super-duper sore and tired. I am also bummed since my wife left town again last night. Waking up alone is the worst feeling. I hate it.

In gaming news, Bioshock comes out tomorrow!!!! Also, I totally got to see/play with the Guitar Hero III wireless guitar today thanks to the PM team the next cube over. I have to say...GH III is gonna rule. ALOT.

okay...back to work for me!

Laters

Game Fuel makes you piss excellence...

2007-08-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

Oh my god.

To celebreate the upcoming release of Halo 3(only 38 days to go!!) Mountain dew has released a crazy tasty, insanley caffinated (%30 more caffine than the standard Dew) beveridge cleverly marketed as "Game Fuel". THe can is plastered with pictures of master chief and the Halo 3 logo...and it is SO awesome. I can't stop drinking it. seriously...I fucking can't!

oddly enough I'm also having trouble sleeping now. Go figure.

In other news, we just got another batch of 1,000 copies of "The Hope EP" today to get geared up for all the upcoming shows we have on the roster (Sunday Aug 19th at Freedom Fest, Sept 7th at the Showbox, and freaking' ENDFEST)and we have 4 new t-shirt designs to drape over your hot little bodies. Want some of this stuff? just email me.

Word up. Good times ahead.

laters....

My Chemical Xbox...

2007-08-15T21:46:00.000-07:00

So, today on XBox live marketplace, a new pack of guitar hero songs was released for download featuring everyone's favorite Emo Dreamboats: My Chemical Romance.

So, thanks to my xbox, I have totally spent the past hour getting my Emo-Nerd on rocking out with a plastic guitar to one of the most shameful of my guilty pleasures.

Go me.

If a blog posts in the forest and no one is around to hear it...

2007-08-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

So, every time I re-awaken the sleeping giant that is my Blogger account I seem to feel the need to post some "oh shit, sorry I've been away" post that literally no one cares about or reads. I'm going to skip the apology entry this time and, instead, just jump right back in. (please refer to the folowing posts if you really need the blogpology:oh shit, I have a blog somewhere,and another long blog break.)

Things, for the most part, are good. Moneta is doing well, I work at Microsoft again (this time on the XBox 360 team), and Melinda is in town for another week. Last night we drank absinthe and watched Shawn of the dead which, i must say, if a freaking jem of a movie. If you like zombies or the dry wit of the english, then this movie is for you. As a side note, if you like feeling like a dandy french revolutionary then the Absinthe also comes highly recomended.

This weekend Moneta is playing at Freedom Fest in Snohomish which should be a rockin' good time. Really, I'm just excited any time I get to be in the van for over an hour and I can trick my mind that I am on tour again. go figure. Seriously though, I am excited about the show. The only downside of the whole shebang is that Melinda is flying out the same night which may cause some minor scheduling issues. More to come on that, I guess.

Anyway, I am at work and should get back to it.

Stay posted for more fun updates from the world of rock and roll and video games!

PS: if you have Xbox Live and an Xbox 360, go download the demo for Bioshock. it is AMAZING.

Elevator Action

2006-09-19T14:46:00.000-07:00

Aside from it being Ryan's last evening living among us for a while, last night ended like many others. I said my goodbyes to my friends at the Clever Dunnes and got in my car to make the thirty minute drive home to my apartment on the Sammamish plateau. In the back seat was a plastic bag containing a new pair of work shoes and a bulk-pack of black socks. This bag would become both betrayer and savior.

Upon arriving home I parked my car in the secured parking garage under my apartment building and, Macy’s bag slung on my wrist with keys in hand, I unlocked the door to the secured elevator room.

This next detail is important...As you all know, in the modern elevator, there is a gap of about 4 or 5 inches between the wall of the shaft and the elevator car itself. This, presumably, allows the elevator some amount of buffer room to keep the elevator from scraping into the walls.

As it turns out, this gap serves the alternate function of swallowing my keys when I clumsily drop them due to an unforeseen shift in the weight of a Macy's bag.

I was dumbfounded; the shot was one in a million. One moment I was seconds away from the warm embrace of my waiting bed and the next I was standing thunderstruck in the elevator room trying to will the keys back into my hand with the sheer magnitude of my disbelief at the events unfolding. After several moments of cursing everything from the Macy’s bag to the theory of gravity, I took stock of my situation.

1) I am locked out of my car and my apartment
2) Its 2:30 in the morning
3) The apartment office is long closed
4)All I have at my disposal are the clothes on my back, a cell phone with one bar of battery remaining, a plastic bag containing new shoes and socks, and a fierce desire to avoid spending the night in an elevator shaft.

Things were not going well.

In a state of mild panic and utter embarrassment I called up the one person with spare keys to my apartment. Ryan groggily answered his cell phone after the second consecutive call and I hurriedly explained my situation while apologizing profusely for the late-night crisis he was now, unwittingly, involved in. As it turned out, Ryan, indeed all of my friends, were much too intoxicated to drive. With a sense of growing dread and with Ryan acting as moral support and my link to the internet, I attempted to contact a local 24 hour locksmith with very little success. The only locksmith that actually answered his phone sounded more intoxicated that any of my friends and was, therefore, very little help.

What now, I asked myself? As four am came and went I found myself holed up in the building lobby with a growing headache and the sinking realization that I may actually be spending the better part of the night there as I waited for the main office to be open. It was then that Ryan informed me via text message that he was trying to sober up and would drive my keys out to me as soon as it was remotely safe to do so. He put the ETA at a hour at the very least but, truthfully, it was more likely that it take two. I thanked him and returned to the lobby chair to sit and wait for the cavalry.

I’m not sure if it was my intense need to avoid the embarrassment of sitting in the lobby like a homeless bag-man as the rest of the building filed out for work in a few hours or if it was my deepening guilt at the prospect of Ryan getting pulled over or worse on account of my clumsiness but, something galvanized me into action.

I returned to the parking level, held the elevator door open with my foot, and peered down the gap using my cell phones’ screen to for light. There, five or six feet out of my grasp, lay my keys splayed perfectly on the floor of the shaft. They were close. maddeningly close.

I then propped open the door to the elevator room and began roaming the parking garage looking for inspiration or material. I rummaged through garbage cans, looked under cars, and briefly contemplated trying to break into a blue firebird to obtain a length of rope I saw in the back seat. After a half an hour with nothing to show for my efforts I returned to the elevator room and hung my head in frustration. It was then, while gazing at my shoes in defeat that inspiration struck me.

I quickly pulled the laces out of my shoes and tied them together to create a string capable of reaching my lost keys. From the Macy’s bag I used a plastic hook that had held my pack of socks on the rack as the grappling hook on the end of my makeshift device. I excitedly lowered the hook down the opening but several attempt to the retrieve the keys illuminated a glaring flaw in my design. Weight. The weight of the hook on the end was not substantial enough to manipulate the keys onto the hook!

I desperately searched my pockets from items to add weight to the hook and settled on a green plastic lighter and a hand full of change. I lashed the items to the end of the hook with a pair of aging rubber bands I had found on the floor of the lobby and, when I was satisfied with the new weight, returned to the gap.

I made a few more passed with little luck and, although it was much easier to manipulate the hook with the added weight, things began to look hopeless. Then, all of the sudden, the keys were on the hook. My heart actually raced as I gingerly raised the keys towards me. I could almost feel the soft triumph of my bed as I watched the keys slowly ascend on my makeshift rope. I cried out in sheer frustration as I was struck from the side and the keys slipped of the hook and back down into the darkness of the shaft. In my excitement I had taken my foot off of the elevator door and, unrestrained, it had slammed into me making me drop my precious cargo. I was furious but encouraged. I had failed but it had shown me that my plan was, in the very least, possible.

I grabbed a garbage can and blocked the door and, once again, lowered the device into the shaft. I swept it back and forth on the floor, operating blind since I had no free hand to light the darkness with my cell phone. Panic swept over me as the first few passes yielded no contact with the target and I feared that the keys may fallen out of the reach of my hook. I dragged the hook across the floor again. Nothing.
It was in the middle of a particularly desperate plea to God that I felt the hook catch. The shoelace went taught with the weight of my many keys and, again, I delicately raised the hook and its cargo towards me. I held my breath and kept one eye on the elevator door until the keys were close enough for me to reach in and grab them.
My hand closed around my elusive prize and, in that moment, I had won the super bowl, won the Indy 500, and KO’d Mike Tyson. I had won the lottery and been elected president of the universe. I jumped to my feet, held the keys above my head and let out a victory cry that I’m sure woke up most of the fist floor of my building.
The walk to my apartment door felt like a parade in my honor and when my head finally hit the pillow I had smile on my face.
Moral of the story? Thanks to gravity and five inch gap in the floor I was shown that I have one of the best men in the world as a friend and that MacGuyver ain’t got shit on me.

Working Nine to Fiiiiiiive

2006-08-01T18:08:00.000-07:00

whew.

after the jubilation that was yesterdays return to rock, work today was a very unwelcome bummer. Our company changed hands....again, and all the bosses are all "henny penny, the fuckin' sky is falling" and are rather conspicuously checking the pull-cords on their golden parachutes while the rank and file like myself just pray to the Saint of Cubicle-bound that our departments make it out of the storm intact.

so yeah...bad day. But I still have a job...and I think that I'm 99.9% safe since my department saved the company like 1.3 million bucks in the last quarter...but who knows.

Anyway.

yeah.

Later

Once more into the breach

2006-07-31T20:16:00.000-07:00

Today was the first real "full band" practice with the new rock band. It was ultra-epic-awesome.

so far, we don't have a name but we have a solid line-up of dudes that I write well with and get along with just famously. We knocked out one song today with some sweet 3 part harmonies and sing along magic choruses that I can not WAIT to get in front of a crowd of 15 year old girls.

two words.

Freakin' SING ALONG

okay..so that was three words...but that should illustrate how totally awesome it's gonna be.

anyways...still no name. Any suggestions?

peace

-Jerry

...the first star i see

2006-05-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. I'm stressed out.

and I hate not having the right to be in a bad mood.

Arguably, things are getting "better" in terms of my own responsibility to being a functioning human being but at times the emotional toll of my own transitory period is barely worth the light at the end of this particularly long, dark tunnel of self-made obstacles. I am starting to understand people who get crushed beneath the weight of their own inadequacy. People that end up shriveled husks of who they were, content to while away their days in needless jobs that dull their sense of humanity only slightly less than the endless, corrosive chatter spewing into their living rooms each night from their beloved televisions. It's not the stress or the difficulty that mutates us. It's not the pressure or the shame of failure.

It is that final resignation to the monotony and futility of it all.

I have not reached that point. Not yet. But I can definitely see the oddly comforting glow if its eternally burning campfire past a once distant hill that now seems much too close for comfort.

What I find odd is the paths my mind has been taking to escape. It seems my subconscious has forgone clinging to the "Big" events in my past that, at one time, had served as comfort in times less fruitful and has, instead, begun to focus on what I can only describe as the utter minutia of my past experiences. It's as if the chip in this particular disc keeps throwing the laser back to pictures of an empty California landscape whizzing past an open van window on what could be any one of a hundred days on tour, to any number of Thursday walks from my former high school to the mall, or to nights with my dad lying next to a campfire staring at the stars..the nearest unnatural light more than 50 miles away.

That last one is really sticking hard with me at the moment. I guess sometimes what I really need is an empty forest, a campfire, and a sky full of clear, cold stars.

Shit, I should really end this post before I clumsily slop anymore of this self-serving drivel on the page (or screen...or..whatever)

see you all soon

Another Long Blog Break

2006-05-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

Once again, I have left this blog unattended and unloved for too long. Perhaps so long that you have all forgotten me? Lord knows that I've stayed away from my friends for just as long. No real reason, really, other than my stubborn insistence on the most solitary brand of self-centeredness.

What have I been up to? Nothing of any real notoriety I guess. I've been working, I've been practicing with the band, and I've been holed up in my apartment with my new cat. On the feline note, Elvis (my cat) is the most adorable creature on Gods green earth but I can already see in myself the propensity to brag about the little fur ball in the same way a proud parent extols their favorite child...regardless of merit. Its a frightening window on a word of school plays, "playdates" with other parents. and the long dark December of my social life. Hell, if I'm this anti-social now just imagine how fucked up I would be with children. I physically shudder at the thought.

Mother, if you are reading this (and I know somehow you are)...don't expect any grandkids from me!

at least not anytime soon.

In other news, the band has a 3 song EP coming out very very soon and preparations for promotional materials and a totally new merch catalogue are well in the works and should be let loose upon the public soon as well. Also you can have a free 4CP ringtone for your cellphone if you click here (subject to cell phone compatibility that is...don't worry casey...it will work on your razr)

sigh, again I must apologize to all those that I have left hanging and those with whom I have not gotten beers...believe me...I have wanted too. but, financial restraints and emotional instability have been the anchor on my plans for some time now.

Roper, I will try my hardest to be at your party though. one does not say NO to the roper lightly...they usually end up getting hurt.

peace out kids.

Oh shit. I have a blog somewhere, right? Damn....

2006-04-12T18:05:00.000-07:00

Forgive me, Internet for I have sinned. It has been nearly a month since my last blogfession.

I guess I've been up to some shit in the interim...Like what, you ask. Well, I'll tell you.

I went to Austin, Texas which was a suprisingly awesome city, I made more progress on the 4CP record, I realized that I do in fact want to be a Kennedy, I got really drunk a few times (one of which was alone at a TGI fridays in Texas), I explored the virtues of Windows Media center edition, I sang along with Rancid's "Out come the wolves" really loud in my car and got some weird looks from a car full of 16 year-old kids that were way to young to comprehend its sheer throat-wrenching awesomeness, I was informed that it is safe to dance, I missed my wife, I read some books, I saw some movies, I ignored the TV show "Lost" for three weeks and then rediscovered it and lost the better part of a day getting caught up, I fought for my right to party, I missed being a kid when spring break rolled around, and I had a dream of stars falling around us as the Blue Sky Mile tour van's headlights tore a white streak across some unnamed cornfield in Kansas.

I guess there has been a lot of dreaming in reverse lately. I guess summer really fuels my natural predisposition to lock myself in my apartment and long for days gone by. Silly, yes? It has been a few weeks since I have seen my friends as well, despite several well meaning myspace comments from the lovely and talented Jen Roper and I am thinking that tonight I may rejoin the pack after work depending on what time all the extra crap I have to catch up on due to my Austin adventure permits.

I seem to have slipped into a pretty serious Summer funk. Really I doubt it has much to do with summer or the memories it evokes, I'm pretty sure this new slump is just using summer as the thin veneer of paint that coats my usual worries. But, as Ethan put it in his perfectly timed phone call that I received a moment ago: "that's nothing a few HighLifes won't fix".

Truer words have never been said.

Old friends and new fires....

2006-03-17T17:52:00.000-08:00

I keep meaning to get back to this blog. For some reason, even when stacked up against all the other shit that I've let fall apart around me, neglecting this blog almost bothers me just as much. Funny how emotional transference works, yeah?

yeah.

Anyhow, at some point in the recent past I seem to have suffered some kind of mental/emotional break and reverted to my innate tendency to hide alone in my apartment watching er-runs of star trek and writing music. Why? Not sure...Maybe the fact that I am grown up and this is definitely not what I wanted to be finally caught up to me. Maybe I'm just a wuss.

The world may never know.

One thing we do know, however, is that Jen Roper made a very good point in her comment on my previous blog that I should, in her words, "Get out more".

True. So true, in fact, that when I did go out the other night and ran into Jen...she bought me a icy cold Miller High Life. There is no finer gift that one can give to another. Seriously though, seeing all of my friends in one place reminded my exactly why hiding in my room with only the crew of the Enterprise to keep me company is such a dumb idea.

As fate would have it, I have some pretty rad friends...especially since they keep sticking around after several rehashed versions of this same socio-phobic tendency. so...high fives for all of you....forever!!

In other news, I have recently stumbled upon and been reunited online (word to yo myspace dogg) with my best friend from college, Andy Fritz which has, in turn, provided the spark to light a fire of PLU recollections that I had presumed lost amidst the haze of fallen brain cells from that particular time of my life. To make matters more awesome, there is a possibility that he may be moving back down here from Alaska to join the non-stop party that is my life *cough cough* It's funny how a time that I consider the most formative experience of my life had become so generalized and non-specific in my head that, when confronted with the crisp, direct recollection of it all, I can barely take it all in with out a whole squadron of butterflies erupting in my stomach. More on this later probably, right now I can't even put it all into words.

Well, St. Patrick’s day tonight...I should be out on the town, hope to see you there. Especially you, Jen Roper, I owe you a drink.

And so, my dear friends, I leave you with this:

One of my turns...

2006-03-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids. Sorry for the lapse in blog updates,non-returned phone calls, and answerless text messages. I seemed to have slipped into one of my anti-social comas again and I am having a hard time getting out of it in one piece.

I won't bore you with the details.

I'll be back soon.

Thanks for still being there...

Paging Wesley Crusher...

2006-02-28T17:33:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid Wesley Crusher, a character on Star Trek:The Next Generation, was my hero. He was living my dream! Not only did he get to live on a galaxy-class federation starship, he got to be an acting ensign!! I realize that, by now, this blog post has largely alienated many of my blog-reading public. "wesley who?" some are asking.."Star Trek? we thought Jerry was cool!" others say.

Well, okay maybe they aren't saying that.

anyway, while watching season one of ST:TNG yesterday I was inspired. What had become of the boy genius we, as young nerds, had so thoroughly idolized? The only contemporary work I could remember involving Wil Wheaton (the actor who portrayed the young ensign crusher) was a brief cameo on an episode of the abc hit CSI in which he portrayed a mentally challenged and possibly homicidal homeless man named Walter. Hardly the future I had envisioned for the enterprising (pun very intended) young ensign. I decided to dig deeper and contacted two of my most reliable sources...google and Wikipedia.

As it turns out Wil Wheaton is doing rather well for himself and, oddly enough, seems like a pretty cool guy. How do I know this? well...I hit up wikipedia, read all the bio crap on imdb.com (which revealed such career highlights as a Jell-O commercial opposite Bill Cosby and, of course, his role in the film adaptation Stephen Kings classic "Stand by Me") and pursued a few sites created by dedicated (if not downright insane) fans. I learned facts, I read about roles on TV shows and in video games, learned about frequent contributions to slashdot.org, and then finally stumbled upon Wil's personal, and frequently updated, blog.

After reading a few entries I was surprised by how normal this former child star seemed....nowhere to be found were the torrid tales of three-week-long coke binges with Corey Feldman. Nor any mention of a "special" relationship with masked, unigloved global pop stars. I read on and, somewhere between an amusing account of a failed attempt to make a grilled cheese sandwich and his choice of Death Cab for Cuties "Transatlanticism" as one of his musical favorites, I almost forgot that I wasn't reading one of my friends blogs. It was, however, this quote in response to what movie he would make if he had unlimited funding that made up my mind about Mr. Wheaton:

my dream is Watchmen as twelve two hour episodes: the first 90 minutes would be the main story, and the last 30 minutes would be Hollis Mason's book, and Tales of the Black Freighter

(if you have not read the graphic novel "The Watchmen" you are seriously missing out. go buy, borrow, or steal it. you won't be sorry...unless you go for the "steal" option and get caught...then you might regret it a little...you know what? I digress...)

Shit yes.

And yes, I was supposed to be working. Deal with it.

Now, those of you that know me know that I generally don't give two shit about the lives and careers of celebrities or TV personalities. This is because, on the general whole, the bloated "cool kids" clique that is American celebrity is just as vapid and self-involved as the aforementioned example was when we were in high school. I am also not some weird, Trek obsessed fan boy...well, not all the time anyway.

So, why am I mentioning this? What is the point? Well, aside from the weird internet day dream that someday Wil might google him name, stumble upon this blog, and send me some kind of E-High Five...

Well..none, really. I guess I just think it is cool that someone that I was impressed by as a kid turns out to actually be a decent, intelligent person.

Way to go Mr. Wheaton. Maybe someday I can buy you a beer.

Kansky out.

[also I have a new Photoblog that I send pictures to pretty much all damn day due to my obsession with this new-fangled phone. check it out if you have a sec. okay..later]

The REAL Nascar on Ice. Really.

2006-02-24T17:41:00.000-08:00

Okay faithful blogscribers...first, let me apologize for the HUGE gap between this post and the previous ones. As it turns out, when my wife is in town, I am nearly 100% content with the world and, as well all know, this state of happiness ruins all attempts at maintaining any kind of creative rhythm. weird.

anyhow, here am I at work. It still sucks. No real surprise there.

I got a new phone and it rules the earth...It takes pictures (with a flash no less), records video, has a qwerty keyboard for speed and ease of text messaging and emails, plays rad games like the Doom RPG (sweet!!), and some other stuff. Oh, and it also makes and receives phone calls. This is probably the least used function of said phone. Seriously.

Last night I was enjoying a beverage at the Clever Dunnes when Joe, a friend that I forged a relationship with based largely on our common love for smart-ass answers to myspace surveys, heard me refer to hockey as "Nascar on ice". He immediately began to excitedly explain that hockey was, in fact, Not Nascar on Ice but, rather, some new Olypic sport called "Skeleton", which is some kind of crazed mix between "suicide by bobsled" and the Luge upside-down and backwards, was the true holder of the aforementioned title. This would have been noteworthy in and of itself. The weird part was that, during Joe's animated description of the sport, no less than three complete freakin' strangers wandered into our conversation and excitedly exclaimed "Are you Dudes talkin' 'bout skeleton?? Shit Yeah!!"

Apparently I am the only person on earth that has never heard of this sport. Anyhow, the long and short of it is I agree to print a retraction of my previous "Nascar on Ice" statement on this blog post. So here it is:

"Skeleton" is the One, TRUE Nascar on Ice forever and ever Amen.

Also, Today I have randomly had Foreigner's "Jukebox Hero" stuck in my head all day and I think my co-workers have gotten a little tired of my constant falsetto belting of "It's just ooooone guitaaaaaar!!!. I don't care. I AM a jukebox hero.

and they can shut it.

Later.

The married life (Episode 1):Hot meals and haircuts

2006-02-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

Man oh MAN, aside from 8 hours of soul crushing office work, yesterday was the best valentines day Ever! When I got home my lovely wife had cooked me a huge meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. It was amazing. In fact, it was so amazing that I even ate the leftovers for lunch today. After dinner Melinda gave me an awesome new haircut and then we snuggled up in our warm bed, complete with new flannel sheets, and watched downloaded VCDs of season 4 of one of our favorite shows, 24.

This morning we woke up early and just hung out in the apartment together. As previously stated, my baby packed me a lunch and then we drove off to work on a new route my wife discovered that seriously shaved like 40 minutes off my commute. After dropping me off my wife then went to teach small children in a friends elementary class about Korea based off her own recent travels to the country.

so...
Makes me food. Check.
Takes care of me. Check
Is good with mapquest.Check.
Is a hero to small children.Check
Puts up with my shit.Check.

yep. Best wife ever. So THERE!

Tonight she is making Hawaiian Pizza and then we watch a new episode of LOST. *sigh* could my life get any more awesome? Answer=NO.

later..

Observations from the animal kingdom.

2006-02-14T14:21:00.000-08:00

In the animal kingdom the weak, sick, and elderly are routinely pushed to the outer fringe of the herd to provide a "buffer of uselessness" protecting the young, productive core of the population from attacks by predators. This system ensured that the healthiest, most capable members were at the core of the herd making all the tough decisions...like, what field to crap in and whether or not to terrorize all those tan landrovers full of gawking pale-skinned tourists. It was a flawless system,

And yet, humanity has somehow forgotten its primal instincts and, instead, has embraced a system quite the opposite. Want proof? turn on the T.V. Go ahead, do it. You will see a world that heartily embraces and protects the "rights" of every right-wing wackjob advocating summary stake-burnings for members of the "Eternal witches coven of homosexuality" and every left wing radical In favor of teaching the virtues man-on-pumpkin sex in Americas classrooms.

Have a moderate and intelligent position on running the nation that seamlessly blends the strong points of all parties in the interest of national unity forged in the spirit of compromise? EDGE OF THE HERD!!

However, if on the next episode of your FOX TV show you will be showcasing "gun-toting Nazi midgets of the Miami underground racing scene", please step right this way to the center of the herd!!

Okay. I'm done with the rant now.

This weekend at the Camlin with Melinda was amazing; easily the most fun I have had in a very long time. The highlight of the trip had to be watching my wife create ingenious methods for making grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, and pasta with marinara sauce using only the burner from a coffee pot, a cutting board, and a tiny microwave. While the pasta left something to be desired, the grilled cheese was amazing.

Tonight I'll be going home to homemade meatloaf. Meatloaf, people!! My wife is amazing!

aaaaaaaand I'm out!

My baby's back!

2006-02-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

...for a little while, anyway and I am very very happy about it! Our appartment fianlly feels like a home now that my wife is sharing it with me.

Last night The 4cp played a show at the El Corazon Downtown and It was the most like "a band" I have ever felt with this new group. It really lifted my spirits and further stoked my excitement about things to come.

Now, as much I as I want to spend my day blogging about stuff, Melinda and I are going to spend the next two nights at the Camlin Hotel, Downtown so we are off to buy groceries and assorted items for this, our valentine weekend.

So if this post seems rushed and brief...that is why.

blog to you soon.

Friday Facts!!!

2006-02-10T15:49:00.000-08:00

I don't really have anything interesting to say today so, instead, I am going to leave you with this collection of Friday Facts!

Fact #1
It is common knowledge that my friend and bandmate Winston McClain used to look just like Davey Havok complete with vinyl pants and a jet black devilock. But do you know why he suddenly became the "Emo Dicaprio" we all know and love? Was it a girl that turned him emo? Was it something he ate? The Government perhaps?

NO!

Winston turned from his Mc-Evil ways due to the rapid onset of a severe allergy to the chemicals in black hair dye...and everyone knows you can't be goth with blond hair. I don't care what the bass player from AFI has to say about it.

Fact #2
That crap you frat buddies used to sell you about "Beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer, never fear" is complete fucking bullshit.

Ask Yahoo says:
Portland's Willamette Week interviewed a nutrition expert and a pharmacologist; both nixed the theory. They astutely note that mixing different types of alcohol is generally a bad idea. The reasoning behind the proverb is that it's easier on your body to absorb weaker alcoholic drinks, like beer, later in the evening. This probably holds some merit. It's also true that your body tends to process alcohol from carbonated drinks faster. But any piece of advice regarding alcohol consumption that contains the line "never fear" is obviously pretty suspect.

I read this on The internet. Clearly, this makes it true.

Fact #3
When my best friend, Casey and I high-five time stops for a nanosecond as all of nature holds its breath in the presence of our awesomeness.

And you know that's true. Because I Said it.

Peace Outside!!

The Comrade Rodriguez

2006-02-09T14:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes all you need is your best friend and a bottle of bourbon. Thanks Casey, you made all the shit that’s dragging me down seem a little lighter. Ben, Jermaine, thanks for being my brothers, last night was just like old times. Perfect.

So, as you may have guessed, I hung out in Seattle last night with my boys. I've been down in the dumps due to some shit that's out of my hands and I needed a night in the city with my brothers to get me back on the level.

I went straight from work to Casey's apartment and just sat on the couch with a perfectly poured bourbon and seven. There is no way to explain the easy, relaxed relationship of a friend as close to me as Casey. All I can say is that it was just what I needed last night. We hung out for a few hours and laughed about old times at camp amazing and old high school nonsense before we made our way down to Ben's Restaurant for a few more rounds, some good company, and what was, quite possibly, the most amazing chicken alfredo in the universe.

Among the many conversations we had last night, one of us told the story about one of Caseys Ill-fated custom drink creations from years back called the "Senor Stalin", named for its mixture of the Russian (vodka) and the Mexican (Salsa)...and nothing else. Greg, the bartender who seems determined to make the nickname "Petite Burger" stick to me due to my fondness for that particular Red Robin "secret" menu choice, declared that he would make us a round of "his take" on the Senior Stalin on the house. Although it was frightening proposition, it was not one we could turn down and Greg immediately went about collecting the ingredients for the shots.

The finished product looked very much like a small amount of vomit suspended in a shot glass full of vodka. Not surprisingly, it had a very similar taste and texture that left the lot of us gagging in-between long pulls off our respective water glasses. Casey got the worst of it when he lost the "rhyme game" and was heavily peer pressured into drinking the extra shot that Greg had poured in observance of "The unknown drunkard". We named this drink the Comrade Rodriguez and promised to use it only to initiate new members and punish the wicked. It is not a thing to be trifled with.

Still reeling and gagging from the unkind effects of the "Comrade" we made our way up to Linda’s. I stayed there for a little over an hour and then made my way home with a much lighter heart then when I had arrived. its good to know who your friends are. Very good indeed.

This is your Blog...

2006-02-08T00:11:00.000-08:00

I know I should be asleep but I've been listening to Elton John for over an hour and trying to figure out why I seem to have lost my ability to write or sing anything I don't hate.

And, I know I haven't written about much since the hockey game...actually I haven't written about anything at all. Brief update: the superbowl was a bummer, ryans party was not (the clam dip was amazing and playing call of duty 2 on the Xbox 360 with Jim, Ryan and Keith was freaking great). Practice last night was both good and bad and today has not been much different. there, we're all caught up.

It’s not that I don't have anything to say....I have a lot to say but none of it should be said here. The things that are eating at me day and night should stay in the dark where I keep them and I'd rather write nothing than shit out some pandering small talk about the trivial minutia that fills the pregnant silences between the things that keep me from sleeping.

Some genuinely concerned person told me today that "A door is never closed without a window being opened". I get where they are coming from but, It just seems like, in the long dark hallway of how I'm feeling tonight, there alot of closed doors and fewer and fewer windows to make all of this worth it.

Sorry for being dramatic, I'm just very confused, hurt, and alone at the moment and I guess I though writing a vague and self-centered blog would make me feel a little better.

Yeah, I was wrong. Back to the self-flagellation of comparing myself to the greatest of classic rock anthems.

Nascar on ice

2006-02-05T12:58:00.000-08:00

Oh holy lord. Last night, I fell in love with hockey.

After work last night I made a brief stop at my parents house to eat some home made meatloaf with my dad. I was on my way home for an uneventful night of watching a tivo'd episode of Battlestar Galactica when Jordan called me up and invited me to a Seattle Thunderbirds hockey game at Key arena and since I lacked any real plans for the evening, I agreed to meet them at the game. I then invited my buddy Ethan to tag along, he agreed, and we made our way to the Key for a night of mullets and mayhem!

After a particularly traffic-hindered drive from Sammamish to Seattle, Ethan and I picked up our comped tickets at the will call window and joined the rest of the Seattle hockey crowd shuffling into the arena. Once inside, Ethan and I were rendered speechless by the almost dangerous concentration of mullets and beer guts that seemed to afflict nearly 80% of the sports fans that surrounded us.

It was at this moment that we ran into Kevin and Jordan as they stumbled towards the outdoor smoking section on perilously unsteady drunken legs. Kevin was already well into a blackout drunk and, since it was only 8pm and he had already drunkenly accosted several total strangers on his way to the smoking section, I got the feeling that my night was about to get much more interesting.

Our seats were amazing. Were only about 20 feet from the Ice; close enough to hear bones crack as players were repetitively body-checked against the Plexiglas barrier between the crowd and ring. Ethan and I amused ourselves by inventing our own remarkably generic sports cheer (we would simply jump to out feet and yell "SPORTS!!" at opportune moments)and by frequently turning to each other and exclaiming "We're at a hockey game!!" and then collapsing into a fit of nerdy, nerdy giggles.

By the time the second period had started Kevin had managed to reach the nearly impossible to achieve state of "too drunk for a hockey game" and was loudly berating the row of fans in front of us because they were, as he so eloquently phrased it, "FUCKING EMO HIPPIE CANUCKS". Brilliant. It was at this point that Jordan, also far to drunk to be in a public place, finally lost his evening-long battle with beer-induced nausea and deposited the majority of his dinner and drinks back into several empty plastic cups which he then hid beneath his seat.

Kevins belligerence reached critical mass when the remote controlled "prize blimp" floated near our seats and denied him one of the fabulous prizes hidden within its nylon exterior. Enraged by being passed over for free extra large Thunderbirds t-shirt or foam beer cozy , Kevin decided to voice his frustration by stealing a full bottle of Pepsi from the 13 year-old boy to his left and hurling it at the blimp. At this point his relationship with the surrounding sports fans went from "mild annoyance" to "soon-to-be-dead honky". When a fist fight between Kevin and the child's justifiably infuriated father seemed inevitable security took this as Kevins cue to leave and, admidst his drunken assertions of his 4th amendment rights, escorted him out of the arena.

I must admit that this epic display of maturity and wit put a momentary damper on the night for me. Then, for the first time in my life, I witnessed the pure beauty that is the Zamboni Ice groomer. The third quarter started and I was back in the game. The 'birds closed the gap and tied up the score and the game went into overtime. The crowd was insane and I found myself on my feet with everyone else screaming at the top of my lungs with every shot. The opposing teams goalie, a kid with the very unfortunate last name of "Sexsmith" was subjected to an amazing amount of heckling by the drunken band of hockey fans behind us who chanted his name for impossibly long stretches of time and occasionally hurled comments like "I really care about you, Sexsmith" and "Blocking shots with your apron doesn't count, Sexsmith". It was amazing.

Long story short: The Thunderbirds won, the crowd went crazy, and we walked back to the squad chanting Seeeeeexsmiiiiith at the top of our lungs as a jubilant victory cry. Upon arriving we ate Liz Dobsons amazing spaghetti, drank root beer, and played several rousing rounds of Boggle. Ethan and I then took the long walk up to Lindas and enjoyed several well deserved bottles of High-life with Casey, Leiah, Mildred, and Andrew.

We briefly hit a house party after the bars closed but I was exhausted from the Hockey game and drove home at around 3. All in All, a great time with great friends.

Now I am off to a SuperBowl party at Ryans....If I keep this up people might start thinking I'm a sports fan or something.

weird...

Inside Jokes?? WTF is Jerry blogging about now??

2006-02-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

I returned to work today and, after three days gone, I had a pile of work a mile high to take care of. Still, after my being couch-ridden for the better part of a week, even being at work was a welcome change. My day was uneventful, my work is mind numbing, and I feel like every day I spend here is a day lost.

My job is 9 hours of spinning my wheels.

For some reason, I’ve been thinking about Camp Amazing a lot today. I’m fairly sure it’s because I used it as an example in a conversation about exactly how much time you have between failing to pay your utility bills and the actual shut off of services. Those of you who were there know what I’m talking about. The rest of you just think I’m a raving lunatic.

Anyway, the fond recollections of “robe day”, indoor gunfights, and Band Of Brothers marathons has led me to abandon the responsible notion of going home tonight in favor of a night of capitol hill shenanigans with my closest friends.

Really I just need to hear “Fiji” shouted in deafening unison immedietly before a blanket bombing of cherry bombs.

Oh yeah.

Fools! Morons! Heathens! (my feelings on TV)

2006-02-02T20:09:00.000-08:00

Spent today on the couch again. I'm still sick but, no matter what, I'll be going to work tomorrow. I feel like anything over 3 days out may be pushing it.

I spent all day today watching VCDs of one of my favorite, now cancelled, sci-fi TV shows Space:Above and Beyond. It's kind of like a cross between Aliens and that old TV show combat! and as is true of all good shows on Fox (arrested development, Firefly, etc) it was canceled prematurely. Damn you Fox. Damn you.

Come to think of it, at the moment, I'm pissed at television networks in general. They've been betraying me left and right lately and I'm beginning to think they don't love me anymore. For instance, Wednesday night is always "Lost" night. I wait all week like a little kid for the next episode. It's one of the best parts of my week. Last night I was all set. I had my popcorn, my soda, and my couch all set up for an hour of suspense and intrigue on my favorite fictional island but, what should happen?? Re-Run!! A damned dirty re-run! I was crushed. It ruined my whole night.

I guess it wouldn't have stung so much if the same thing hadn't happen the night before when I sat down to watch "Scrubs". Again, betrayal!

I realize that this post is pure crap. This is what happens when I don't leave my apartment for days at a time. I promise that updates with some substance will return soon.

Oh, I may be facilitating a music video shoot to take place at my old highschool. More on that as it develops.

later.

Captains Blog...Supplemental

2006-02-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

I won't lie to you. I am a huge Star Trek Fan...

I've seen every episode of every season of Star Trek, Star Trek:The Next Generation, and Deep Space Nine. Now, I know that publishing this fact on the internet will probably hurt me in the "Hippest Jack-ass on Capitol Hill" election primarys later this year but, if I can't be proud of my roots what can I be proud of? that's right.nothing.

Why am I wasting your time talking about Star Trek, you ask? Well, to be honest I had a good reason when I started writing this post but sometime during my search for the adorble picture posted above...I seem to have forgotten due to a particularlly funny comercial for Bacardi and Cola.

It would seem that, when it comes to derailing my blog posts, they get the job done.

One thing I do remember is that I found Wil Wheaton's personal blog/website.He was the boy genius on Star Trek: TNG that all of us kids would have killed someone to be. I realize that this discovery holds little or no interest to anyone but me and my fellow nerds, geeks, and trekkies but, still, I felt I would post it out of my lotalty to Star Trek Fandom.

anyhow. Still feeling like shit, might not make it to work again. Depends on how I feel.

Off to watch Lost

Later

Too sick to blog

2006-02-01T16:19:00.000-08:00

Sick Day = Boring Blog Post!

2006-01-31T20:12:00.000-08:00

I woke up today feeling like I had been run over by a city bus full of plague rats at some point during the night. Consequently, I have had a rather uneventful day filled only with fitful fever-naps and bad daytime T.V. shows. On the plus side,I called in sick to work and I have been giving some serious thought to growing a manly beard. I think it may grant me a certain roguish quality. Of course, this may be the fever talking.

At this point I'm not sure if I am going to go to work tomorrow. I guess it depends how I feel when I wake up. If I feel like I do now, however, it will be another day of hot cider and headaches. Oh what fun.

Now, off to bed with me....So I can dream of my perfect beard

Later

Of Metal bands and Mixing boards...

2006-01-30T18:59:00.000-08:00

Okay kiddies, sorry for the late update today. I'm feeling rather under the weather and, consequently, I spent the better part of the day on my couch watching war movies.

So, last night did not go quite as I had planned. We never finished mixing "Patience Guide", K3 and I only shot a couple pictures, and I didn't get home until 2am. I blame this all on the StudioMaster 16x4x2 mixing console that Josh and I purchased last night. The aforementioned mixer is a central component of the recording setup that Josh and I have been attempting to piece together for the past few months so, when the owner was willing to sell it to us for a mere 135 bucks, we naturally jumped at the opportunity.

In this case "Jumping at the opportunity" meant driving to Kenmore in what I can only describe as a fucking monsoon of a rainstorm. In the hour it took us to get there from squad we made four U-turns, got lost at least twice, and sufficiently weirded out a sleeping pregnant woman whose house we mistook for our destination. In fact, while standing on her porch, my inner monologue seemed to break down entirely because I inexplicably exclaimed "Awkward!" when I realized we were at the wrong house. In my defense, It was a tad awkward...Especially after my outburst.

But I digress.

Eventually we did find the house we were looking for but only after the man we were going to meet wandered out into the downpour to look for us. Once inside we got our first look at the StudioMaster. It was big. It looked heavy and, as Josh put it, "it looked legit!. We are, however, professionals...so we tested each channel, asked geeky questions, and were generally skeptical. Finding nothing wrong, we paid the man his money and lugged the extremely heavy mixer to my car and proceeded to drive home feeling very proud of our purchase.

We arrived at the squad, mixer in hand like conquering heroes and immediately set upon the task of integrating our new toy into the recording setup. At first things went well. We removed the old mixer, set up the amps and vocal mics, and connected all the components into the SoundMaster. We rejoiced at the prospects that the 4 new free channels offered, we patted ourselves on the back for such a thrifty purchase...We were pumped.

Then we put on our headphones.

To make a long story short, there was so much buzzing and channel noise that the board, in its current condition, was useless. Josh and I then set a new world record of transitioning from pumped to totally bummed out in under 3 seconds. I'm pretty sure it broke the sound barrier. We are, at the moment seeking outside consultation about possible fixes to the mixing board and, thankfully, the outlook seems promising. Since I know you are all so interested, I'll keep you posted.

At midnight Josh took off and I hung out with Butcher for a while and shot the shit about metal bands and recording studios. At about 1:30 I drove home and nearly wrecked my car on I-90 due to the nearly a foot of standing water on the approach to Issaquah. Good. Freaking. TIMES.

And now, here are the stats for yesterday:

Pictures taken: 5ish

Pictures posted: None!!

New bands I like: My Epiphany,Southcott,and Demon Hunter

New labels that rule: Less Avenged

Reasons I am proud of wife: this video clip in the upper right hand corner is a little promo for her dance company!

also..this is her being featured in an Ad for her company

okay. That's it for today. Hopefully I'll get the new Patience Guide up tonight...We'll see.

later

No sleep till...Bellevue?

2006-01-29T14:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday seemed like the longest day ever. ever, people!

I managed to fake my way though the better part of my workday but, when I literally fell asleep at my desk I decided that the time for keeping up appearances was through. Thankfully, my boss is awesome and let me bail on the remaining 2 hours of my workday. Unfortunately this 2 hour window left me little time to do anything but run back to my apartment, change clothes, eat a cheeseburger, and run back into Bellevue to meet the rest of The Four Colour Process at The Ground Zero Teen center.

Even though I live 20 minutes away I always get a little nostalgic being back in Bellevue. It just seems like the ghosts of my teenage years speak the loudest when I'm on their turf.

The Show itself was a good time and the energetic dance response from the kids in the front was a nice change from the usual "indier-than-thou" statue impressions that greet most bands in the greater Seattle area. Coretta Scott, the headliner from Spokane ran into some van trouble stranding their lead singer Josh at the GZ without a band to play with. In a show of true rock and roll "good sportsmanship" Josh decided to give the kids an acoustic performance of several songs from his solo writings and I was left rather impressed by the depth and effectiveness of his set. I would have told him this myself but penetrating the phalanx of 14 year old indie girls that surrounded him seemed like it would take more strength than my exhausted body had left. Really the only down side about last night was when a marauding band of jocks drove by in someones fathers Audi and shot a crowd of us with paintballs. Now my leg has a welt and there is a green paint splotch on my favorite jeans. Devin and I grabed rocks to break the cars windsheild if they made a return pass but, sadly, we were not given the chance to retaliate. probably for the best really.

Overall, last night felt like an all ages show should: a common effort by a bunch of kids to play and enjoy good local music without all the scene bullshit that has left some of us a little jaded.

After the show was over I bowed out of the general plans to go back to the hill and hit the egg room after party. As much as I wanted to stay up until 7am and wake up feeling like an angry rhinoceros had "had his way with me" I felt that the smart move for me would be to go home and catch up on all the sleep I'd missed the night before.

Upon getting home my Wife called me from Bourbon street in New Orleans and my desire to be with her was so bad that my heart started to feel like a tin can in a trash compacter. (ooooh so EMO)It was at this moment that I started formulating plans to build a personal matter teleporter....world economics be damned!!

I woke up early this morning and made my way to pirahna Studios to continue work on recording vocals for our as-of-yet untitled record. Progress is good and by tonight the rough mix of "patience Guide" should be up on our myspace page for your listening pleasure.

Anyway, Josh had to take off for a while to do some work at Mars Hill so K3 and I are going to have some fun with cameras and creative lighting. The results will most likely end up on my myspace page later tonight. If you're lucky.

Okay...Off to be creative.

later.

Happy 24th Birthday Casey!!!

2006-01-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

For the last 3 years I have missed my best friend Caseys birthday party. I've always had a good reason, in fact I've always had the same reason. You see, I just happened to start dating the wonderful angel that is my wife at Casey's birthday party oh so long ago and, since then, I've spent every January 27th with her. This time, however, my lady love is in the middle of yet another national tour with Diavolo and I am, therefore, regretably without her company.

The upside of my lonliness however is that this year was the first time since Caseys 21st that I was in attendance for his birthday party and, as dead tired as I am now sitting here at work, it was worth it.

The night started out with an intimate gathering at Chez Gaude (pronounced Shey gawdy), the restaurant where Ben Sparks works his special brand of culinary magic. Our crew had reserved a large, corner couch area and, although things got to a slow start, we quickly assembled a good group and got the party under way. After drinks and bad inside jokes Ben produced a large cake which, after much fanfare, he proceeded to light on fire while the group sang happy birthday. The cake was as delicious as it was flammable. It also stained our teeth a lovely shade of grey for a good portion of the night. All in all...Totally worth it.

Around eleven Casey, Ben and I left the restaurant huddled under one pitifully inadequate umbrella, giggling maniacally as we loudly sang what I'm sure were the wrong words to chubby checkers' "lets twist again". This was great fun.

We then did the twist in the middle of the street in the rain.

We made our way to Linda's where, admittedly, I lost track of Casey for a the better part of an hour as I caught up with, literally, every one of the friends that I had not seen for a while. It was a veritable who's who of people that I love/tolerate. At this point I briefly toyed with the Idea of calling in sick. Upon further consideration I abandoned this idea as irresponsible and pointless. Drinks were had, toasts raised, and time, as is the case in a place like Lindas, passed quickly. When I finally did reunite with Casey he was decidedly more intoxicated than he had been at the restaurant but was still in control of his faculties, he had simply acquired his trademark drunken swagger/"Italian Mafia" pronunciation. Funny but manageable.

At this point I toyed with the Idea of going home. (1:00am) 7 hours until work

The group made its way down the street to the usual party wind-down spot, the Clever Dunnes. I drank water and planned my ill-fated exit strategy while the chaos that is my drunken friends whirled around me like a bourbon-fueled tornado. Once again I managed to lose track of the birthday boy in a flurry of hugs and high-fives from friends I had neglected. Just as the bar lights kicked in and "last call" was shouted I heard rumblings moving through the party crowd that an "after party" was being held at Andrews apartment. I decided that I would crash at Caseys then informed the mob that I would attend. (2:15am) 5 hours 45 min until work

Outside the bar the party goers had assembled as an unruly, drunken mob intent on getting out of the cold, wet Seattle night and into Andrews apartment to continue "celebrating" Caseys birth by throwing away brain cells like confetti. I was so distracted by Daves overexcited "bro hugs" that I did not even notice the absence of the birthday boy as the crowd made its way across Denny towards the apartment complex. It was Ben Sparks that finally noticed and retrieved Casey from his hiding spot within the Dunnes.

Caseys state of inebriation at this point can only be described as "The Gumby Phase". The phase in which one is so intoxicated that ones movements share more with a string-puppet gumby than any bipedal mammal know to modern science.

With considerable help, Casey made it to Andrews apartment and plopped down heavily in a chair on the outside walkway. By this point, my stamina was all but evaporated and I needed to sleep since my workday was only five short hours away. I gathered up Casey, said my goodbyes and made my way to Caseys apartment to get some much needed shut eye. (3:00am)5 hours until work

Upon hitting the couch I was instantly asleep. It was wonderful. It was also, however, short lived.

I was then awakened by what sounded like a home invasion but turned out to be a large group of my drunken friends bursting in the door to Caseys apartment to assault him with a bright blue latex dildo that can only be described as "practical joke big". I could only make out a few words but I am sure someone said "this will go much quicker if you don't struggle". I took the only course of action I felt was open to me. I pulled the covers over my head and fell back into a terrified, restless asleep. (3:45am)4 hours 15 min until work

Soon,I was again roused from sleep by what I can only describe as a remarkable impersonation of Chewbakka trying to lose weight for the senior prom coming from the bathroom ajoining the room I was sleeping in.(4:40am) 3 hours 20 min until work This was of course Casey "returning" all the alcohol he had "rented" throughout the evening in one efficient session. Again, I pulled the covers over my head and slept until my cell phone alarm woke me at seven am.

Now I am at work in a large sweatshirt I stole from Casey, My back hurts, I am half awake, and I miss my Wife more than anyone has ever missed anything.

Happy Birthday Casey, I'm glad I got to share it with you this year! It was great. Now, back to work for me. *sigh*

Later

No rest. Headache. Writers block?

2006-01-27T14:29:00.000-08:00

Woke up late today even though I went to bed rather early and the headache that greeted me when I opened my eyes refuses to subside no matter how man external migraine tabs I throw at it.

Practice last night was good but I'm frustrated at my lack of progress in finding a suitable vocal line in one of our new songs. I could sense that the rest of the band was a little frustrated by this as well. I'd work on it now but I'm finding it impossible to think through the headache fog.

I am also frustrated with my inability to start writing my book. I've reworked the setting and the basic premise a hundred times in my head but, for some reason I still have not put the first word on paper.

It seems that in all creative aspects of my life I have hit a wall. I guess this is what writers block feels like. Hell, even this Blog entry feels uninspired.

On that note, I think I'll go back to working...at least that requires no creativity what so ever.

...Stolen from some great writer.

2006-01-26T12:24:00.000-08:00

I woke up early this morning and read for a few hours before grudgingly making my way to work. It was rainy and miserable out again and it was all I could do to bring myself to walk in the door and clock in.

Now, I don't love my job but I don't hate it either. My boss is great, I'm paid well and I have very good benefits for my Wife and I. I certainly could do much worse for myself. I have no passion for the work, however. Other than taking pride in a job well done I really couldn't care less about the business and the customers. Sending some ungrateful and cranky old couple on a week long vacation to Hawaii does nothing for my sense of purpose and, try as I might, I simply can't bring myself to care. I just can't escape the feeling that every second I spend here is a waste.

Some days my discontent is worse than others. Today is not one of my good days. My attempts to mentally block out the artificial cheer and mindless pandering of modern "customer service" has taxed my patience to the breaking point and all my restraint is focused on not strangling those in the cubicles around me with their headset cords for a single moment of peace uncluttered by the universally vague, noncommittal, niceties of the corporate vocabulary.

Am I exaggerating? A little, maybe. Still, I can't escape the feeling that I don't belong here. Every moment I spend in a recording studio, at band practice, or writing serves only to reinforce this feeling.

I just can't wait until my real life begins and all this background noise fades away.

I know that nothing that comes easy is worth having...It just sucks to be stuck in the "paying your dues" phase for so long.

Not losing hope, just losing patience.

"The war is over...they won..."

2006-01-25T11:18:00.000-08:00

I stayed up late last night watching the extended "bootleg" cut of Almost Famous and, once again, fell head over heels in love with the movies Idealized portrayal of the freedom and sentimentality of 70's rock and roll. Every time I watch it I can't help but feel like I've missed out, like the music scene we live in and die for is exactly the substanceless "industry of cool" that the movie version of Lester Bangs so gravely cautions against.

Is the war really over? Did They win?

Sometimes it feels that way and I get pretty discouraged. I mean, what logical reason is there that My band should make it as opposed to the 7000+ other bands fighting it out in this city?

And thats just it...logic has nothing to do with it. Trying to think our way to the top will always be a failing gesture.

When we run on instinct we are at our strongest. When that next part of the song just comes out of you naturally it is always a thousand times better and more real than any formulated "thought out" part or transition.

I feel like my band is fianlly getting to that point, the point where we stop thinking our music and start really feeling it.

So, to answer the question of why I know that this band is going to make it....

It's because I can feel it...I can feel it every time we lock in on some new part, or every time we hit our stride on stage and everything just flows together. I can feel it when we talk about our plans and our ambissions.

It's just sleeping there under the surface.

I think the next few months are going to be very interesting...

Studio time.

2006-01-24T18:21:00.000-08:00

It's nice to be back in the studio again. I've been re-recording the main and backup vocal tracks on the Four Colour Process full length and and, I have to say, it has been a long time since I have been this excited about a band that I have been in. Tracking has been going at about the pace I expected and, aside from some minor frusteration on my part stemming from singing parts written with a much different vocal style in mind, largley painless. We've already gotten through one song (patience guide) and are moving onto the next (temporary fixes) on sunday.

My new work schedule, however looks like it is going to be more of a nusiance than I thought. Working around band practice was one thing but, trying to find time to record the rest of the record and practice while still being able to sleep is looking like it may be a challenge.

Thankfully, everyone involved is being pretty understanding so I have no doubt that we will make it work until a better solution presents itself.

I've been missing my Wife quite a bit these days. Since her arrival in New Orleans phone contact has been spotty at best. I know that we were aware of how hard this would be when we got into it but, right now it's wearing me down pretty fast.

I am also just a little jealous that she is the one on tour and I'm stuck here in this vanilla corporate nightmare just waiting for my real life to begin again.

In other news, I have been re-addicted to network televison and I am not afraid to admit how excited I am about the 2 brand new episodes of "Scrubs" on tonight...not to mention "Love Monkey" which is looking to be just as good.

...I still think all that "reality" TV is complete fucking bullshit, however.

Anyway, it's only a matter of time until someone realizes that I have not done a second of work for the past hour and a half so I should probably go.

...Later